XV

My original goal was to be 180 by this coming weekend...1/27. I spent the weekend coming to terms with the fact that it just isn't gonna happen. But that's ok, I guess. I'd really like to get down to 180 to say I got there...from that point I think I will be able to give myself a break and live somewhere between 180 and 190. That would be good.

OCD Returns
So, the last couple of posts have detailed my inability to really get momentum going after the holidays. I was stuck at 192 and seem to have entered some sort of weight plateau. The down-side of all of this stuff is, that no matter how much I have lost/changed up to this point, it doesn't seem to matter to me if I don't have results on a weekly basis. My OCD wired brain starts to really drive me crazy by mid-week and everything seems to drive toward worrying about the scale. I have talked about this in previous posts (way back to the ediets days), but this is the first time it has returned since the trays of food went away.

Maria suggested that I need to change something up as my body might have been getting used to the patterns I had established. The eating and the work-outs were pretty much the same since I started (with minor tweaks through out). I felt like I couldn't really cut out anymore calories from my diet (with out just going for a full on fast). So, as I said in my last post, I upped the work-out...and continued that level for the whole week. So, what started out as a punishment on Saturday, became my pattern busting change week. And it looks like Maria was right...

Infinite loop no more:
Initial Weight: 220
Week1: 214 [6 pound loss]
Week2: 210 [4 pound loss]
Week3: 206 [4 pound loss]
Week4: 204 [2 pound loss]
Week5: 199 [5 pound loss]
Week6: 196.5 [2.5 lb loss]
Week7: 198 [1.5 lb GAIN] - Boo!
Week8: 195 [3 pound loss]
Week9: 193 [2 pound loss]
Week10: 191 [2 pound loss]
Week11: 191 [0 pound loss] - *Sigh*
Week12: 195 [4 pound gain] - CRAP!
Week13: 192 [3 pound loss]
Week14: 192 [0] - hm.
Week15: 189 [3 pound loss] - OUT OF THE 190's!!!

Mentally, another huge wall has been broken by getting into the 180's. I think my OCD will relax this week. Yay.

This week will be much more relaxing as we are heading south of the border for vacation! I am so ready to take it easy on the beach, in the sun. So, a couple days of working out/eating right, then a few days of pure enjoyment of life...but of course sticking to some of the rules.

Thanks to everyone for the messages this week - it always helps to keep me on task.